Posts (page 2)

Has anyone see those Shamwow commercials?  The one where the pitchman sorta assumes you're a jerk if you don't buy his rags and even talks down to the camera man?

For some reason, I'm fascinated with really weird annoying people like television pitchmen.  There's something about their universal abrasiveness, know-it-all exhibitionism, and seemingly total disregard for what people think about them that holds me in awe.

Vince Offer of ShamWow is almost as cool as Billy Mays of OxyClean. 

I find it super easy to imagine that Billy Mays  yells not only in his OxyClean commercials, but all the time.

"HI THIS IS BILLY MAYS AT HOME.  HONEY, CAN YOU PASS THE KETCHUP!" 

Perhaps poor shouting Billy's parents died when he was an infant, leaving him to be brought-up by his elderly hard-of-hearing grandmother with whom he could only communicate by yelling. 

</geek>

This evening I brought Theo to the office for an Ops and Sales-sponsored  after work social thingy we call Foobar.  As several other parents brought their spawn in,  we tried to line then up and snap a quick picture.  It didn't go so well.  Theo and Harper would try to run away, or Penelope would start crying. 

After I told Karen how squirmy Theo was, she showed me this picture of Asia Carrera's kid from her blog.  Click the picture, view it full screen, and appreciate how completely bizarre it is.  I'll probably have nightmares tonight.

Ingredients:

• 

  Art Project
  1 Quart Yellow Paint ($7)
• 1 Quart Primer ($5)
• 1 8oz Can Green Paint ($4)
• 1 Svala Childrens Table and Chairs ($40)
• 2 Paint brushes ($2)
• A couple of beautiful sunny afternoons.

 

Directions:

1. Assemble table.
2. Coat the table and chairs in primer.  Wait 2 hours.
3. Apply 2 to 3 coats of yellow paint.  Drink a beer and wait 1 to 2 hours for each coat to dry before applying the next one.
4. Detail with green paint.  Be creative!
5. Watch your kid laugh hysterically while he smears mac and cheese all over it.

 

Okay, I'm kinda digging this band now.

One of my co-workers just informed me that if you have a San Francisco Public Library card, you can access the O'Reilly Safari Library for free.  It looks like they've got about 1500 books online, but not everything in the Safari Library.  For example, "The Sendmail Cookbook" doesn't show up on the free version, while it does on my paid account.

Here's how to connect.

1. Browse to http://www.sfpl.org/sfplonline/dbcategories.htm
2. Search for "safari".  It's a big page and the link is about two-thirds of the way down.
3. Log in with your library card number
4. Geek Out! 

 

 

 

 

In a email list I'm on, we were analyzing the oratory style of Barak Obama.  As it turns out, he tends to use a lot of statements that basically go like this: 

 

"It's not A for B. It's B for A"

 

All this reminded me of a character called "The Sphinx" from a grossly underrated film from a few years back.

Decide for yourself.

Barak Obama: With the changing economy, no one has lifetime
employment. But community colleges provide lifetime employability.

The Sphinx: To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.

Barak Obama: My job is not to represent Washington to you, but to
represent you to Washington.

The Sphinx: He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.

And in homage to an underrated movie:

Mr. Furious: Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a
little bit formulaic? "If you want to push something down, you have to
pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right." It's...

The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn
to master your rage...

Mr. Furious: ...your rage will become your master? That's what you
were going to say. Right? Right?

The Sphinx: Not necessarily.

There's a kids show on Nick Jr. called Yo Gabba Gabba that Karen and I have fallen in love with.  It's hosted by a guy called DJ Lance Rock who carries an old school boombox.  Most of the segments feature electronica or electro beats with fat bass.  They also have special guest like Biz Markie or Tony Hawk.  Theo and I like to crank up the subwoofer and dance around. 

Check out the "Party in My Tummy" clip for a dope beat and some good tips on eating vegetables.

"Pick it up" is another brilliant sketch which uses rude boys and ska music to teach kids to clean up their rooms.